THE PROPER WINE GLASS EVADES ME

I started out with a set of four wine glasses. Nothing fancy. Just a set of four plain, average-sized wine glasses.Over the course of the summer, I lost two of them. One was broken during a party my roommate was hosting and another was broken while she was cleaning. Throughout the fall, my roommate promised to replace them, or maybe even buy another set. I thought it was nice of her to offer, but I wasn't in a rush. Not at first, anyway. I just made do with the two that I had, and sometimes drinking wine out of water glasses if need be.

Then, I started to get antsy. I saw on EBay that a set of four stemware glasses were being sold for $9.99. They were vintage, iridescent glasses from England. Even labeled Queen Mary, even though they had nothing to do with my beloved ship. So I ordered them, and I was excited to own a set of wine glasses even better than my first set. Hell, then my roommate wouldn't even have to worry about buying me another set.When they arrived, I saw they had been placed inside my mailbox. I thought, damn! these people did a great job of packaging them tightly.

When I opened the shipping box, I saw the inside package they came in was much smaller. Well, holy shit! these glasses must be made of rubber or they come in a fine powder that you just add water and poof! you get a set of four wine glasses. Magic?

No.

Cordial glasses.

That's a fancy shot glass, if you don't know what a cordial glass is. I certainly didn't. So, now I had a set of four lovely cordial glasses for drinking fine after-dinner liqueurs. I went back to look at the EBay description, wondering how I could be so ignorant as to purchase CORDIAL glasses. Well, the textual description said nothing about cordial glasses. They were simply referred to as stemware. Well, that's like saying you're selling shoes--are we talking sneakers or high heels here? In one of the images of the package they came in, however, I could see the word "cordial glasses" imprinted in the lower right hand corner on the box. Might have been helpful if the photographer had bothered to show a close-up.

Time passed, and still, my roommate did not buy me the glasses. I even showed her my miniature glasses and the whole story behind them, as a sort of light-hearted hint. But I got antsy again, especially when I got a coupon from Central Market offering a set of four Slovakian wine glasses with a $30 minimum groceries purchase. A $40 value...FREE. Wow. Excellent?

Maybe.

But they were STEMLESS wine glasses. And there were two large ones and two small ones. So I don't even get a matching set of four, even if amputated, wine glasses. So we go from tiny stemware to stemless.

All I want is a set of four matching, regular-sized wine glasses. With stems. Is that too much to ask?



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